This is an urgent appeal on behalf of Celtic supporters across the world.
To the board: yes, we’ve enjoyed so many trophy wins over the decade that we need a scientific calculator to keep a tally. We have the best stadium in the UK, the kit sponsor badges last more than three washes and you continue to play “This Land Is Your Land” on the tannoy.
You’ve given us some fantastic memories, some exceptional players and some riveting football in recent memory. But you’ll admit last season went completely daft, and rectifying those mistakes has taken ages. If you’re reading this, please just… gies peace.
Scotland’s men’s team are at their first major tournament in 23 years, and some of the games are happening just down the road. But those of us that are Celtic-minded and following Steve Clarke’s side aren’t going to be able to switch off from worrying about the Bhoys.
That is, unless, you hire a manager. You’ve got Ange Postecoglou on WhatsApp by now, we’re guessing: just get it done. Hire a Director of Football. Call them what you like, dress the title up however you wish. In the same way that Subway staff are ‘Sandwich Artists’, have a bit of fun with it.
Celtic: our demands are very reasonable
Sign some players, please. We’re running out of them. You’ll know this, surely. And the ones that do leave, don’t sell them off cheaply, then watch them break records mere years later, like Virgil van Dijk [BBC]. You run businesses, you must know how these things work.
What was it Nick Hammond did? Are we going to get some kind of clarity on what the staff at the club do? That’d be dead good. Not a dossier, just a kind of brief summary on the website or something.
This isn’t a banner, nor a protest. We just want to see our Scotland stars on the big stage without worrying about a contract clause, or Ange Postecoglou’s coaching badges.
A beer with friends shouldn’t be tainted by the prospect of Roy Keane in the dugout. A moment of ecstasy at James Forrest thumps in the winner against England shouldn’t be ruined by a tweet about the club shop. Again; we know, things have been good at Celtic up until now.
But… go on, will you?
Cheers.
READ MORE: Actually, Celtic board, while we’ve got you – this guy could be a star
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